Atonement still sucks but it made me think

So I saw Atonement the other day, I will refrain from bashing it too much. Its overrated. Really. But while watching it I couldn't help but think of the romantic entanglements that I have had or could potentially have. I want to enjoy all of it. Pleasure is what was lacking for me in all of my trist. How someone or why they liked me was irrelevant. I was alone even in their presence. So dispite myself I held back and came off cool and aloof. Who would want those qualities in a partner? So I'm working on not shutting down and running for the hills with emotions in tow.